depression

what a silly word.

ugh.

pet peeve of the night... fakers.

and/or good manipulators.

i dont like it.

that is all.

end of rant.

back to december...

SO... i must admit.

i am a taylor swift fan.

and for some reason... i keep hearing her latest song on the radio and it's making me reflect on this past year.

it's a catchy song.

and perhaps it kinda reflects how i feel...

but then again. it doesnt.

"this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying i'm sorry for that night."

"turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you... "

"and i go back to december all the time"

blah blah blah....

none of those are true, but man... i've totally been there.

now, it's all about moving forward and im excited for that. :]

here's to an exceptional new year!

to quote miss spears...

she's so lucky, she's a star...

but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart thinking 'if there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?'

it's not that i'm sad, per say... it's more like i'm not satisfied with how things are in life.

it's along those lines of 'why do some people suffer more than others?' and 'who gets to decide how this person's life will be this way or that'

eh... it's just not fair, i tell ya.

i try not to think of such things cuz it gets me down.... then again, perhaps it's good for me.

perhaps the reason why it upsets me is because i really need to do something about it.

yah.

can you tell? it's been awhile since i've had an actual conversation about something of substance.

I'm going to set some goals for myself. but i'm not going to tell you what they are.

according to don miller, who actually heard this from a lecture, sharing your goals with the public actually makes achieving it seem less fulfilling. It takes away part of the feeling of accomplishment i guess..

ho hum.

The Kingdom Experiment

Why hello there... i am back!!!

After months and months of silence, I've decided to start my own lil experiment...

So I recently bought this book at newsong called 'the kingdom experiment.'

It's basically a book full of ideas you can do for your community, as well as various scriptures to study and talk about..... anndddd... artsy type stuff.

It reads backwards. as in, you must flip it over and start reading it from the back cover.... because ''the kingdom is backwards." quite sneaky.... and witty, i suppose. it also happens to be one of those 'read with a small group type books."

i'm still searching for a small group so in the meantime, i shall blog about it here. :)

YOU will be my small group, whoever you are.

Hopefully you'll get something out of this as well. ^_^

We shall start off with this thought:

"most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived." -shane claiborne

blehhhh

i dont know about you... but i'm quite easily influenced by the people i'm around.

my mood, that is.

how does one stay so 'up' all the time? hmm hmm hmm

i did manage to grab a nice cup of hot jasmine tea today.

I think my sister got me sick.

I guess I'd feel better if I was physically feeling better too.

sidenote- what is this LA obsession with cupcakes?

--

So for the past month i've been doing a bit of background acting. "Extra work" as some would also call it. I was going to write about some of the things i've learned on set and on all the interesting people i've met. Being in this entertainment industry is kinda strange. It definitely plays with people's heads.... and it's interesting to see how it's affecting /affected people.

But more on that later, i guess....

I'm not in the mood... :0p

i need a lot of help... with a lot of things.

Thank God I'm not alone.