Easter

Jesus is coming...

I don't have too much to say right now.

I've got many things to process though.. just thought i'd write that down here.

How would you answer this question... What is keeping you from giving Jesus your all?

What is holding you back? Why are you not truly living by faith and not by sight?

For me-- It's scary. I don't tend to enjoy going into things alone.

yah... more about that later i suppose.

Forget About His Will for Your Life!!

.... uh.. WHAT?

yah, exactly. That is one of the chapter titles in Francis Chan's book. (Forgotten God)

It's funny cuz my previous post was me ranting about God's possible will for my life.

I would like to share a little bit from this chapter with you. Got me thinking again.

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Forget About His Will For Your Life!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I just wish I knew God's will for my life"? I know I've longed for this before. But now i see it as a misguided way of thinking and talking.

There are very few people in the Scriptures who received their life plan from God in advance (or even their five-year plan, for that matter!). Consider Abraham, who was told to pack up his family and all his possessions and start walking. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know if he would ever be back. He didn't know any of the details we consider vital (e.g. his destination, how long the venture would take, what the costs/rewards would be, whether he'd receive a 401(k) or health insurance). God said to go and he went, and that's pretty much all he know.

I think a lot of us need to forget about God's will for my life. God cares more about our response to His Spirit's leading today, in the moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today's decisions.

It is easy to use the phrase "God's will for my life" as an excuse for inaction or even disobedience. It's much less demanding to think about God's will for your future than it is to ask Him what He wants you to do in the next ten minutes. It's safer to commit to following Him someday instead of this day.

To be honest, i believe part of the desire to "know God's will for my life" is birthed in fear and results in paralysis. We are scared to make mistakes, so we fret over figuring out God's will. We wonder what living according to His will would actually look and feel like, and we are scared to find out. We forget that we were never promised a 20- year plan of action; instead, God promises multiple times in Scripture never to leave or forsake us.

God wants us to listen to His Spirit on a daily basis, and even throughout the day, as difficult and stretching moments arise, and in the midst of the mundane. My hope is that instead of searching for "God's will for my life," each of us would learn to seek hard after "the Spirit's leading in my life today."

May we learn to pray for an open and willing heart, to surrender to the Spirit's leading with that friend, child, spouse, circumstance, or decision in our lives right now.

in my efforts of spending some good alone time... i've managed to visit "stumbleupon.com" again and clicked on the stumble button a few times.

After playing with a Jackson Pollock site and various other artsy sites, i managed to come across this "joke" :

Life:

Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

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Once upon a time, I was asked, "what do you want in life?" This happens to be the exact question that I had tried to avoid for quite a long time. Such a simple question... yet somehow the answer would reveal so much about who I was and what I hope for.

After scanning my thoughts for awhile I came up with an answer that I thought would please this particular person. Since "I don't know" or "I'm not quite sure" was coming out of my mouth every time this question was asked in the past... I figured I'd give it another try. Maybe this time, it would be something deep.. and impressive.. proving that there is more to me than what I want people to see.

From that-- I've learned that you can never really lie about things like this. Sure, you can come up with grand things about what you really want in life. I, for one, would love to learn to live not just for myself. Sounds like such an exciting thing... and God promises us great things when we live for Him fully and completely. But hold on.. isn't that what we're supposed to be doing anyway?

I'd like to think so. So many times I've complained about being "sick of it." I was fed up with my excuses for myself... my laziness and unwillingness to do anything that would challenge me.

We are called to "die to ourselves" and give ourselves to God... and for awhile, I'd like to think that i was. But, Who am I fooling anyway, that my life is fully devoted to God. I may be able to fool the people around me, but I can't fool God. I don't think i've ever been FULLY and COMPLETELY devoted to God. What would that even look like? Jesus' disciples? Jesus himself?

I don't know if even Jesus' disciples were ever fully devoted... some had doubt at one point or another... and I'm sure there was always that fear that perhaps Jesus would lead them to do something not so fun.

There's always a piece of me that is afraid to let go of myself. Yes, I trust God... and yes, i know that He's got better plans for me than I have for myself. But when it comes to ACTION... I hesitate.

Sometimes it's easy to just go for it and take that leap of faith because you have people to support you and encourage you.. and perhaps confirm that "this is what God wants for you."

But what happens when what you think God is telling you... is something that would take you away from home. Home being where you are comfortable... a place that you know. It could include the people around you and surroundings that you're familiar with. What if what God wants you to do... would put you in situations in which you feel uncomfortable?

I think hearing THAT call-- and following that call... takes great courage.

and faith. and honestly, shouldn't it always be like that? at least.. at first...?

so maybe.. i just need more courage and faith right now.

perhaps one day, i can answer that question again and have something to show that I'm heading in that direction.

Positive News :]

I recently read a story shared by joann on google reader. It was posted on a blog entitled "Only Positive News."

Someone created a blog full of encouraging life stories...

How nice =)

I just so happened to stumble upon this one.. thought it was interesting and relevant so I wanted to share.

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Positive Quote Wednesday

Sometimes we hang on to pain so dearly, it begins to define us. We don’t know what we’d do without it. We get used to it, like an old, moth-worn blanket that never really keeps us warm.

This week, we offer up quotes on letting go:

“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends.Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

“When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize what you were dragging around with you. And for that, no one else other than you was responsible.” Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

“It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.”Mick Jagger

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” Jim Morrison

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:] perhaps i shall post some notes on francis chan later

i've really missed that guy.

On a cold Saturday afternoon

I'd like to share this morning's devotional with y'all. :]

Taking the Next Step

"Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses." 2 Corinthians 6:4

When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in the reading and studying of His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, then it does to preach the gospel.

Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands.

We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no improvement, but only experience out everyday life with its trivial tasks.

The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you. Never allow yourself to think that some tasks are beneath your dignity or too insignificant for you to do, and remind yourself of the example of Christ in John 13:1-17. (Jesus washes his disciples' feet)

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Let's just say... this came to me at a good time.

Just think, how fragile and weak-spirited we are... to have to be constantly reminded of God's grace in our lives.

freaking.. out...

Hello internet...

So I'm about to ask for a personal prayer request about a potential job I just (think) I might have lost. I don't really do this much... mostly cuz I can't stand having to tell people that I've failed at obtaining another job that I was quite excited for.

Umm... yes. I recently took a little quiz for NBC.

They sent me a few industry questions asking about my opinions and thoughts on it... told me that I had an hour to reply... and yup. that's it.

I mean, it's already been done.... i just hope right now that they're going to extend some grace to me right now. I'm not too confident about it because frankly, i ran out of time. :[

boo. boo. and more boo.

oh, i really want this job. lol

so um, God? is this just me then? i mean... i could probably come up with some reasons why i think being in the program would be glorifying to God... but then again, it could also just be me saying "this is what i want! please bless it, God!"

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

okay. no worries. i shall wait.

^_^;

Deep.

Alrighty.. this post is a deep one. I want to share the following with you.

I dare you to try to understand this. :]

These words... lyrics... rhymes.. verse.. poetry...whatever you could call it- were written by Anthony Hamilton.

I met Anthony this morning after a Newsong service and asked him if I could share this. When I first heard him perform/speak them... his words were quite inspiring... and (to be honest) at times quite confusing. However, if you read it... like REALLY read it... study it... line by line and meditate on it.. it is ridiculously beautiful.

He also played for Chivas USA... pro soccer?

haha surprise, surprise

thanks for sharing, anthony =)

i've highlighted some of my favorite lines... just cuz i can ^_^

take some time to read.

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It’s pathetic that I call myself poetic, reflecting the worldly aesthetic of the alphabet juxtaposed to theories. The allusions of life surpass the optical; philosophical teachings are supposedly a window into the metaphysics of our ontology, but quite possibly the malfunction for which we unction conscious thought is explained in the systemic compositions of slavery.

In the shackles of our perception we succumb to a system of domination and subjugation revamped and redefined by every generation. To exemplify the mystified bonds of our falsified reality, we take our ability to physically move and translate it as power that has protruded, from effort that is exuded, for purposes we concluded are worthy to be included in time we call our own. In crowded streets we stand alone, with a proclivity to feed the very industry that cripples our souls. Never satisfied by all that we touch because it’s never enough, instead weighed down and filled with shame due to this refuge we clutch.

My spiritual ambivalence it just doesn’t make sense, ever since I heard that it’s a paradox we call reality and keeping it real will you a casualty of abnormal normality. I found a fallacy of the greatest proportion my mind seemed to knock me off my feet like a spinal contortion, but perhaps this was my portion to spin out of control and extol the sincere longings of a broken soul.

Just another piece looking for a whole to fill the hole, left by my benevolence, decadence and precedent reflected by my hesitance to cleave; it was spiritual foreplay without wanting to conceive. I believed that when I received truth I’d be free from this enmity within me, but I guess just like a seed is cultivated and grown, perhaps my barest parts are meant to be shown. It’s been my curse to perfect the submersion of the unknown. I’m so self-conscious that my subconscious is vain, but nevertheless, because of a man slain, risen, purposed to reign, I’m no longer called by the same name.

Now I dismantle the mantle and see that souls are scantly clad. After being tattered and torn perceive new nature reborn. Still forlorn to an extent, clothes rent body broken and bothered. See myself with matter of factness, and the blackness of my skin just personifies wickedness that abides within. See through shadows of oblivion and rise like ancient Abassidians, effervescent all comprised, then decrepit in demise, you can’t see love in my eyes if fear and death in disguise and clear unrest to the wise.

Where do I begin when sin has entangled, disheveled and strangled my vision with juxtaposition of flesh and spirit, does or dies the difference between truth and lies? Death, the notion of ceasing to be, vexes me. But frankly I speak not of death as a physiological realism but that of a divine altruism, disbursed to the mortally infected, affected and resurrected. Death is an eternal connection to reality and reality isn’t real until it boarders mortality. Thus the fallacy appeals and reveals the totality of flip flopped morality when we see that perversion is really holiness upside down. Lest a corn of wheat fall to the earth and die it abideth alone, but through death and redemption through Christ’s full ascension is fruit manifested and grown. He came not to bring peace but a sword. He came as a lamb and a lion at war. I’m not scientifically inclined nor emphatically benign to the persuasions of what men know, but this one peculiar reaction has forever, pierced my heart though, He dipped this black man in red blood and I came out white as snow.

-Anthony Hamilton

Amen :]