The Kingdom Experiment

Why hello there... i am back!!!

After months and months of silence, I've decided to start my own lil experiment...

So I recently bought this book at newsong called 'the kingdom experiment.'

It's basically a book full of ideas you can do for your community, as well as various scriptures to study and talk about..... anndddd... artsy type stuff.

It reads backwards. as in, you must flip it over and start reading it from the back cover.... because ''the kingdom is backwards." quite sneaky.... and witty, i suppose. it also happens to be one of those 'read with a small group type books."

i'm still searching for a small group so in the meantime, i shall blog about it here. :)

YOU will be my small group, whoever you are.

Hopefully you'll get something out of this as well. ^_^

We shall start off with this thought:

"most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived." -shane claiborne

blehhhh

i dont know about you... but i'm quite easily influenced by the people i'm around.

my mood, that is.

how does one stay so 'up' all the time? hmm hmm hmm

i did manage to grab a nice cup of hot jasmine tea today.

I think my sister got me sick.

I guess I'd feel better if I was physically feeling better too.

sidenote- what is this LA obsession with cupcakes?

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So for the past month i've been doing a bit of background acting. "Extra work" as some would also call it. I was going to write about some of the things i've learned on set and on all the interesting people i've met. Being in this entertainment industry is kinda strange. It definitely plays with people's heads.... and it's interesting to see how it's affecting /affected people.

But more on that later, i guess....

I'm not in the mood... :0p

i need a lot of help... with a lot of things.

Thank God I'm not alone.

Easter

Jesus is coming...

I don't have too much to say right now.

I've got many things to process though.. just thought i'd write that down here.

How would you answer this question... What is keeping you from giving Jesus your all?

What is holding you back? Why are you not truly living by faith and not by sight?

For me-- It's scary. I don't tend to enjoy going into things alone.

yah... more about that later i suppose.

Forget About His Will for Your Life!!

.... uh.. WHAT?

yah, exactly. That is one of the chapter titles in Francis Chan's book. (Forgotten God)

It's funny cuz my previous post was me ranting about God's possible will for my life.

I would like to share a little bit from this chapter with you. Got me thinking again.

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Forget About His Will For Your Life!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I just wish I knew God's will for my life"? I know I've longed for this before. But now i see it as a misguided way of thinking and talking.

There are very few people in the Scriptures who received their life plan from God in advance (or even their five-year plan, for that matter!). Consider Abraham, who was told to pack up his family and all his possessions and start walking. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know if he would ever be back. He didn't know any of the details we consider vital (e.g. his destination, how long the venture would take, what the costs/rewards would be, whether he'd receive a 401(k) or health insurance). God said to go and he went, and that's pretty much all he know.

I think a lot of us need to forget about God's will for my life. God cares more about our response to His Spirit's leading today, in the moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today's decisions.

It is easy to use the phrase "God's will for my life" as an excuse for inaction or even disobedience. It's much less demanding to think about God's will for your future than it is to ask Him what He wants you to do in the next ten minutes. It's safer to commit to following Him someday instead of this day.

To be honest, i believe part of the desire to "know God's will for my life" is birthed in fear and results in paralysis. We are scared to make mistakes, so we fret over figuring out God's will. We wonder what living according to His will would actually look and feel like, and we are scared to find out. We forget that we were never promised a 20- year plan of action; instead, God promises multiple times in Scripture never to leave or forsake us.

God wants us to listen to His Spirit on a daily basis, and even throughout the day, as difficult and stretching moments arise, and in the midst of the mundane. My hope is that instead of searching for "God's will for my life," each of us would learn to seek hard after "the Spirit's leading in my life today."

May we learn to pray for an open and willing heart, to surrender to the Spirit's leading with that friend, child, spouse, circumstance, or decision in our lives right now.

in my efforts of spending some good alone time... i've managed to visit "stumbleupon.com" again and clicked on the stumble button a few times.

After playing with a Jackson Pollock site and various other artsy sites, i managed to come across this "joke" :

Life:

Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

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Once upon a time, I was asked, "what do you want in life?" This happens to be the exact question that I had tried to avoid for quite a long time. Such a simple question... yet somehow the answer would reveal so much about who I was and what I hope for.

After scanning my thoughts for awhile I came up with an answer that I thought would please this particular person. Since "I don't know" or "I'm not quite sure" was coming out of my mouth every time this question was asked in the past... I figured I'd give it another try. Maybe this time, it would be something deep.. and impressive.. proving that there is more to me than what I want people to see.

From that-- I've learned that you can never really lie about things like this. Sure, you can come up with grand things about what you really want in life. I, for one, would love to learn to live not just for myself. Sounds like such an exciting thing... and God promises us great things when we live for Him fully and completely. But hold on.. isn't that what we're supposed to be doing anyway?

I'd like to think so. So many times I've complained about being "sick of it." I was fed up with my excuses for myself... my laziness and unwillingness to do anything that would challenge me.

We are called to "die to ourselves" and give ourselves to God... and for awhile, I'd like to think that i was. But, Who am I fooling anyway, that my life is fully devoted to God. I may be able to fool the people around me, but I can't fool God. I don't think i've ever been FULLY and COMPLETELY devoted to God. What would that even look like? Jesus' disciples? Jesus himself?

I don't know if even Jesus' disciples were ever fully devoted... some had doubt at one point or another... and I'm sure there was always that fear that perhaps Jesus would lead them to do something not so fun.

There's always a piece of me that is afraid to let go of myself. Yes, I trust God... and yes, i know that He's got better plans for me than I have for myself. But when it comes to ACTION... I hesitate.

Sometimes it's easy to just go for it and take that leap of faith because you have people to support you and encourage you.. and perhaps confirm that "this is what God wants for you."

But what happens when what you think God is telling you... is something that would take you away from home. Home being where you are comfortable... a place that you know. It could include the people around you and surroundings that you're familiar with. What if what God wants you to do... would put you in situations in which you feel uncomfortable?

I think hearing THAT call-- and following that call... takes great courage.

and faith. and honestly, shouldn't it always be like that? at least.. at first...?

so maybe.. i just need more courage and faith right now.

perhaps one day, i can answer that question again and have something to show that I'm heading in that direction.

Positive News :]

I recently read a story shared by joann on google reader. It was posted on a blog entitled "Only Positive News."

Someone created a blog full of encouraging life stories...

How nice =)

I just so happened to stumble upon this one.. thought it was interesting and relevant so I wanted to share.

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Positive Quote Wednesday

Sometimes we hang on to pain so dearly, it begins to define us. We don’t know what we’d do without it. We get used to it, like an old, moth-worn blanket that never really keeps us warm.

This week, we offer up quotes on letting go:

“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends.Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

“When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize what you were dragging around with you. And for that, no one else other than you was responsible.” Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

“It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.”Mick Jagger

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” Jim Morrison

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:] perhaps i shall post some notes on francis chan later

i've really missed that guy.