The Kingdom Experiment

Why hello there... i am back!!!

After months and months of silence, I've decided to start my own lil experiment...

So I recently bought this book at newsong called 'the kingdom experiment.'

It's basically a book full of ideas you can do for your community, as well as various scriptures to study and talk about..... anndddd... artsy type stuff.

It reads backwards. as in, you must flip it over and start reading it from the back cover.... because ''the kingdom is backwards." quite sneaky.... and witty, i suppose. it also happens to be one of those 'read with a small group type books."

i'm still searching for a small group so in the meantime, i shall blog about it here. :)

YOU will be my small group, whoever you are.

Hopefully you'll get something out of this as well. ^_^

We shall start off with this thought:

"most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived." -shane claiborne

blehhhh

i dont know about you... but i'm quite easily influenced by the people i'm around.

my mood, that is.

how does one stay so 'up' all the time? hmm hmm hmm

i did manage to grab a nice cup of hot jasmine tea today.

I think my sister got me sick.

I guess I'd feel better if I was physically feeling better too.

sidenote- what is this LA obsession with cupcakes?

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So for the past month i've been doing a bit of background acting. "Extra work" as some would also call it. I was going to write about some of the things i've learned on set and on all the interesting people i've met. Being in this entertainment industry is kinda strange. It definitely plays with people's heads.... and it's interesting to see how it's affecting /affected people.

But more on that later, i guess....

I'm not in the mood... :0p

i need a lot of help... with a lot of things.

Thank God I'm not alone.

Easter

Jesus is coming...

I don't have too much to say right now.

I've got many things to process though.. just thought i'd write that down here.

How would you answer this question... What is keeping you from giving Jesus your all?

What is holding you back? Why are you not truly living by faith and not by sight?

For me-- It's scary. I don't tend to enjoy going into things alone.

yah... more about that later i suppose.

Forget About His Will for Your Life!!

.... uh.. WHAT?

yah, exactly. That is one of the chapter titles in Francis Chan's book. (Forgotten God)

It's funny cuz my previous post was me ranting about God's possible will for my life.

I would like to share a little bit from this chapter with you. Got me thinking again.

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Forget About His Will For Your Life!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I just wish I knew God's will for my life"? I know I've longed for this before. But now i see it as a misguided way of thinking and talking.

There are very few people in the Scriptures who received their life plan from God in advance (or even their five-year plan, for that matter!). Consider Abraham, who was told to pack up his family and all his possessions and start walking. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know if he would ever be back. He didn't know any of the details we consider vital (e.g. his destination, how long the venture would take, what the costs/rewards would be, whether he'd receive a 401(k) or health insurance). God said to go and he went, and that's pretty much all he know.

I think a lot of us need to forget about God's will for my life. God cares more about our response to His Spirit's leading today, in the moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today's decisions.

It is easy to use the phrase "God's will for my life" as an excuse for inaction or even disobedience. It's much less demanding to think about God's will for your future than it is to ask Him what He wants you to do in the next ten minutes. It's safer to commit to following Him someday instead of this day.

To be honest, i believe part of the desire to "know God's will for my life" is birthed in fear and results in paralysis. We are scared to make mistakes, so we fret over figuring out God's will. We wonder what living according to His will would actually look and feel like, and we are scared to find out. We forget that we were never promised a 20- year plan of action; instead, God promises multiple times in Scripture never to leave or forsake us.

God wants us to listen to His Spirit on a daily basis, and even throughout the day, as difficult and stretching moments arise, and in the midst of the mundane. My hope is that instead of searching for "God's will for my life," each of us would learn to seek hard after "the Spirit's leading in my life today."

May we learn to pray for an open and willing heart, to surrender to the Spirit's leading with that friend, child, spouse, circumstance, or decision in our lives right now.

in my efforts of spending some good alone time... i've managed to visit "stumbleupon.com" again and clicked on the stumble button a few times.

After playing with a Jackson Pollock site and various other artsy sites, i managed to come across this "joke" :

Life:

Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

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Once upon a time, I was asked, "what do you want in life?" This happens to be the exact question that I had tried to avoid for quite a long time. Such a simple question... yet somehow the answer would reveal so much about who I was and what I hope for.

After scanning my thoughts for awhile I came up with an answer that I thought would please this particular person. Since "I don't know" or "I'm not quite sure" was coming out of my mouth every time this question was asked in the past... I figured I'd give it another try. Maybe this time, it would be something deep.. and impressive.. proving that there is more to me than what I want people to see.

From that-- I've learned that you can never really lie about things like this. Sure, you can come up with grand things about what you really want in life. I, for one, would love to learn to live not just for myself. Sounds like such an exciting thing... and God promises us great things when we live for Him fully and completely. But hold on.. isn't that what we're supposed to be doing anyway?

I'd like to think so. So many times I've complained about being "sick of it." I was fed up with my excuses for myself... my laziness and unwillingness to do anything that would challenge me.

We are called to "die to ourselves" and give ourselves to God... and for awhile, I'd like to think that i was. But, Who am I fooling anyway, that my life is fully devoted to God. I may be able to fool the people around me, but I can't fool God. I don't think i've ever been FULLY and COMPLETELY devoted to God. What would that even look like? Jesus' disciples? Jesus himself?

I don't know if even Jesus' disciples were ever fully devoted... some had doubt at one point or another... and I'm sure there was always that fear that perhaps Jesus would lead them to do something not so fun.

There's always a piece of me that is afraid to let go of myself. Yes, I trust God... and yes, i know that He's got better plans for me than I have for myself. But when it comes to ACTION... I hesitate.

Sometimes it's easy to just go for it and take that leap of faith because you have people to support you and encourage you.. and perhaps confirm that "this is what God wants for you."

But what happens when what you think God is telling you... is something that would take you away from home. Home being where you are comfortable... a place that you know. It could include the people around you and surroundings that you're familiar with. What if what God wants you to do... would put you in situations in which you feel uncomfortable?

I think hearing THAT call-- and following that call... takes great courage.

and faith. and honestly, shouldn't it always be like that? at least.. at first...?

so maybe.. i just need more courage and faith right now.

perhaps one day, i can answer that question again and have something to show that I'm heading in that direction.

Positive News :]

I recently read a story shared by joann on google reader. It was posted on a blog entitled "Only Positive News."

Someone created a blog full of encouraging life stories...

How nice =)

I just so happened to stumble upon this one.. thought it was interesting and relevant so I wanted to share.

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Positive Quote Wednesday

Sometimes we hang on to pain so dearly, it begins to define us. We don’t know what we’d do without it. We get used to it, like an old, moth-worn blanket that never really keeps us warm.

This week, we offer up quotes on letting go:

“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends.Letting go is one way of saying I love you.”

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

“When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize what you were dragging around with you. And for that, no one else other than you was responsible.” Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

“It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.”Mick Jagger

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” Jim Morrison

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:] perhaps i shall post some notes on francis chan later

i've really missed that guy.

On a cold Saturday afternoon

I'd like to share this morning's devotional with y'all. :]

Taking the Next Step

"Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses." 2 Corinthians 6:4

When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in the reading and studying of His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, then it does to preach the gospel.

Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands.

We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no improvement, but only experience out everyday life with its trivial tasks.

The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you. Never allow yourself to think that some tasks are beneath your dignity or too insignificant for you to do, and remind yourself of the example of Christ in John 13:1-17. (Jesus washes his disciples' feet)

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Let's just say... this came to me at a good time.

Just think, how fragile and weak-spirited we are... to have to be constantly reminded of God's grace in our lives.

freaking.. out...

Hello internet...

So I'm about to ask for a personal prayer request about a potential job I just (think) I might have lost. I don't really do this much... mostly cuz I can't stand having to tell people that I've failed at obtaining another job that I was quite excited for.

Umm... yes. I recently took a little quiz for NBC.

They sent me a few industry questions asking about my opinions and thoughts on it... told me that I had an hour to reply... and yup. that's it.

I mean, it's already been done.... i just hope right now that they're going to extend some grace to me right now. I'm not too confident about it because frankly, i ran out of time. :[

boo. boo. and more boo.

oh, i really want this job. lol

so um, God? is this just me then? i mean... i could probably come up with some reasons why i think being in the program would be glorifying to God... but then again, it could also just be me saying "this is what i want! please bless it, God!"

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

okay. no worries. i shall wait.

^_^;

Deep.

Alrighty.. this post is a deep one. I want to share the following with you.

I dare you to try to understand this. :]

These words... lyrics... rhymes.. verse.. poetry...whatever you could call it- were written by Anthony Hamilton.

I met Anthony this morning after a Newsong service and asked him if I could share this. When I first heard him perform/speak them... his words were quite inspiring... and (to be honest) at times quite confusing. However, if you read it... like REALLY read it... study it... line by line and meditate on it.. it is ridiculously beautiful.

He also played for Chivas USA... pro soccer?

haha surprise, surprise

thanks for sharing, anthony =)

i've highlighted some of my favorite lines... just cuz i can ^_^

take some time to read.

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It’s pathetic that I call myself poetic, reflecting the worldly aesthetic of the alphabet juxtaposed to theories. The allusions of life surpass the optical; philosophical teachings are supposedly a window into the metaphysics of our ontology, but quite possibly the malfunction for which we unction conscious thought is explained in the systemic compositions of slavery.

In the shackles of our perception we succumb to a system of domination and subjugation revamped and redefined by every generation. To exemplify the mystified bonds of our falsified reality, we take our ability to physically move and translate it as power that has protruded, from effort that is exuded, for purposes we concluded are worthy to be included in time we call our own. In crowded streets we stand alone, with a proclivity to feed the very industry that cripples our souls. Never satisfied by all that we touch because it’s never enough, instead weighed down and filled with shame due to this refuge we clutch.

My spiritual ambivalence it just doesn’t make sense, ever since I heard that it’s a paradox we call reality and keeping it real will you a casualty of abnormal normality. I found a fallacy of the greatest proportion my mind seemed to knock me off my feet like a spinal contortion, but perhaps this was my portion to spin out of control and extol the sincere longings of a broken soul.

Just another piece looking for a whole to fill the hole, left by my benevolence, decadence and precedent reflected by my hesitance to cleave; it was spiritual foreplay without wanting to conceive. I believed that when I received truth I’d be free from this enmity within me, but I guess just like a seed is cultivated and grown, perhaps my barest parts are meant to be shown. It’s been my curse to perfect the submersion of the unknown. I’m so self-conscious that my subconscious is vain, but nevertheless, because of a man slain, risen, purposed to reign, I’m no longer called by the same name.

Now I dismantle the mantle and see that souls are scantly clad. After being tattered and torn perceive new nature reborn. Still forlorn to an extent, clothes rent body broken and bothered. See myself with matter of factness, and the blackness of my skin just personifies wickedness that abides within. See through shadows of oblivion and rise like ancient Abassidians, effervescent all comprised, then decrepit in demise, you can’t see love in my eyes if fear and death in disguise and clear unrest to the wise.

Where do I begin when sin has entangled, disheveled and strangled my vision with juxtaposition of flesh and spirit, does or dies the difference between truth and lies? Death, the notion of ceasing to be, vexes me. But frankly I speak not of death as a physiological realism but that of a divine altruism, disbursed to the mortally infected, affected and resurrected. Death is an eternal connection to reality and reality isn’t real until it boarders mortality. Thus the fallacy appeals and reveals the totality of flip flopped morality when we see that perversion is really holiness upside down. Lest a corn of wheat fall to the earth and die it abideth alone, but through death and redemption through Christ’s full ascension is fruit manifested and grown. He came not to bring peace but a sword. He came as a lamb and a lion at war. I’m not scientifically inclined nor emphatically benign to the persuasions of what men know, but this one peculiar reaction has forever, pierced my heart though, He dipped this black man in red blood and I came out white as snow.

-Anthony Hamilton

Amen :]

Last Sunday

This is a video from last Sunday's Newsong service.
I'd tell you what I think about it... but you should watch it first. :]

http://vimeo.com/9712967

Have a blessed day! ^_^

Love.

I've recently been watching a new CW show called "Life Unexpected."

I've only seen 2 episodes but I can definitely say that this one is a keeper.

It's about Lux, a 16 year-old girl, who has been pretty much on her own for her whole life. At the beginning of the season, she's been with 7 different foster homes and is looking to get emancipated so that she can live on her own. She's had enough of that 'foster-care life.'

However, in order for her to be on her own, she needs to get some papers signed by her biological parents. Her father lives in a small apartment above a bar that he owns and can be pretty much be considered as a "deadbeat." Her mother, she finds out later, is a popular radio talk show host and is doing rather well.

When Lux and her parents finally meet, Lux realizes that there's potential for her to actually have a family. Her biological mother, Cate, is ready to take her in and figure out how to love her the best she can while the father is just trying to change his life around.

So.. from having no family for 16 years to suddenly having a family, (though far from perfect) Lux is now figuring out her life with Cate and Nate in it.

That's just the gist of what i watched so far but i think it has a lot of good stuff in it.

GRACE. lots of it... GRACE.

It's worth checking out if you have some extra time and want to watch a lil bit of tv. ^_^;;

ANYWAY... just thought i'd throw that one out there.

This post is actually going to be about love, God's love.

And of course, when you think of God's perfect love...

What comes to mind? ah yes, 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud.

It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Yes yes... very good. Now, the real question is... are WE loving others as Jesus loved us? Are we showing grace to people around us? Have we been patient and kind to our neighbor? Or are we easily angered with our siblings? Our parents?

Reality Love Check: try replacing "love" with your name in those verses.

Geneva is patient, Geneva is kind.

Geneva does not envy, Geneva does not boast,

Geneva is not proud.

Geneva is not self-seeking, Geneva is not easily angered,

Geneva keeps no record of wrongs.

Geneva does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

Geneva always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.

Geneva never fails.

Oh, ouch. No. I don't quite cut it....

There are still many things I need to work on in my life.

My goal... as a human being.. is to be able to love like THAT. To have that kind of love for others, the kind of love that Jesus has for us.. the same kind of love that we are all called to have.

Love is not just a feeling. Love is a choice.

I will now leave you with a semi-cultural fun song and video :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs

thank you, 'valentine's day' soundtrack. hehe

y i r u m a

Need that extra somin' somin' to help you relax?

try the "yiruma'' station on www.pandora.com

It is glorious. ^_^

Ashes to ashes... / Monkeys & Fish

I'm splitting this post between Ash Wednesday and some random notes. tada!

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It's Ash Wednesday everybody!

To be honest, I didn't know much about it and havn't really thought about it until now.

So I attended the Ash Wednesday service at Newsong this evening. T'was my first Ash Wednesday service and first time observing Lent. For awhile, I thought that it was only a Catholic thing but apparently, there are a lot of Protestant Christians who observe Lent.

so What IS Lent?

Ash Wednesday marks the 1st day of the 40 day fast until Easter, not including Sundays. It's supposed to be a sacred time of fasting, personal reflection and prayer in preparation for Easter. By observing the 40 days of Lent, we imitate Jesus' preparation for public ministry when He withdrew into the wilderness for forty days of prayer and fasting.

Fasting is a traditional practice during Lent; the hunger for things that we usually want can instead become a renewed hunger and desire for God. The primary purpose of a fast during the season of Lent is to "create space" in our lives so that we can better focus our attention on God and hear His voice more clearly.

The practice of fasting occurs by giving something up--- something we eat, something we do, something in which we find pleasure. Forsaking certain pleasures during Lent is a practical reminder to us of Christ's suffering on our behalf.

Fasting is encouraged because it offers unique opportunities to:

-create intentional space and focused time with God

-Bring our physical desires under submission with the intent of hearing what the Holy Spirit wishes to teach us and speak into our lives

- Cultivate a posture of humility before the Lord as we pray and draw close to Him

- Prepare ourselves in anticipation of seasons of increased spiritual warfare

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Yes, so service tonight... Ed Salas spoke about God and Jesus as a fire... a magnificent consuming fire. We did the cross of ashes on the forehead deal... and had a worship band play. It was nice... i enjoyed it and God placed something new on my heart. As to what that is, you'll just have to find out later! =)

So I've decided that I'm going to be giving up my "sleep-in time." I love sleeping... and I sleep way too much for my own good. So I've decided that I will wake up early every day... even on Saturdays! Haha... that is what i'm giving up.. sleep. XD I would have said desserts, but I dont even eat desserts very often anymore so there wouldn't be a point of a "somin" fast.

Anyway, I'd appreciate some accountability with this... ask me what God's doing in my life and i shall share whether or not I'm actually being good and sticking to this. =P Jk, im going to try my best.

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Moving swiftly along...

These are some notes from "The Monkey and the Fish: Liquid Leadership for a Third-Culture Church" by Dave Gibbons, newsong's head pastor. Whew.. there's a LOT in that title... I've read about halfway into it.. but there are just way too many things to share so I shall just leave you with the preface.

First, this is the parable that inspired the title of the book:

(See if you can understand it after reading it once.. )

A typhoon stranded a monkey on an island. In a protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed to the monkey that the fish was struggling and needed assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.

A tree leaned precariously over the spot where the fish seemed to be struggling. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on a limb, reached down, and snatched the fish from the waters. Scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments, the fish showed excitement but soon settled into a peaceful rest.

- An Eastern parable

Ahhhh yes yes, so simpo.

or not... i was quite confused when i first read it... but then he explains in the next couple paragraphs. [i'm just going to write it all down for you cuz I like the way he makes his points] :)

"Translation? The fish died!

Relevance to the 21st century church?

Everything.

Our World is changing so rapidly, and more than ever, the church needs more than good intentions. We often enter a crisis with a great deal of enthusiasm, even compassion and heroism. But so often the result is tragic. Whether we're trying to reach a new generation or foreign culture, we tend to proclaim.

We often don't listen well. Too many times we resort to yesterday's answers and methods. But today, in a world driven by the forces of globalism, the crises and issues the church grapples with far exceed our sometimes simplistic and insular, if well-intended, approaches.

To effectively carry Jesus' gospel to various places around the globe today-- more important, to be Jesus' gospel-- listening is required. We need to be sensitive and lead with an eager learner's resolve. Those who follow Jesus embody fluidity, adaptation, and collaboration. It's what we call the third culture way. Adaptable to changing circumstances. To challenging cultures. To complex crises and problems.

If there's one quality that matters most to the fate of the church in the 21st century, its adaptability.

....

The problem is that formulas and one-size-fits-all programs so often do more harm than good. We need to learn to adapt, to be fluid-- or liquid, a word i use a lot these days to assess my own abilities as a global citizen, follower of Jesus and church leader.

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think about it.

think, think about it.

Good things!

Thought You'd want to check out my happy Valentine's tulip. ^_^

Oh, and they sell Italian ice at Saddleback church.

I got the lemon-flavored one. I couldn't choose a flavor, so I got the Italian Ice Man's favorite flavor.

It's yummy.

Not sure why I'm posting about Italian ice. Let me think of how this could be a great analogy for something deep....

mmm nada.

Other than the fact that God allows us to experience GOOD things. Italian ice is a good thing as are valentine's tulips! Donuts and coffee are also good things. I had some this morning... I really wanted a sprinkled donut but maybe next time. :]

Our Provider has so many good things for us to enjoy... and what I listed above are only some physical things! I think when we put our God-given passions to use... there will definitely be many more good things to experience. Things that will please the Lord! That's some pretty exciting stuff if you ask me...

I'm slowly beginning to realize some of mine.... and lately.. they're in the seemingly small things.

I love celebrating! That is, what brings joy to others... could very well bring joy to me as well. Celebrating differences and appreciating similarities in music tastes, cultural backgrounds, food choices, color preferences, hobbies, grocery store preferences, points of views, and just ways of doing things... (hmm, this list is kinda random... )

okay, maybe not all of those things i naturally appreciate... but i'm trying. ^_^

Gives you quite a new perspective on things, really...

Off topic.

Today is Ash Wednesday

the end.

14.... my favorite number!

When i was 14 years old, I decided that my favorite number would be 14.

I figured since 7 is a good number... (God's number(?), lucky 7, 7 days in a week, 777)

If I doubled it, it would be twice as good!

[7 + 7 = 14] for all you visual learners... :p

Anyway, today is a 14.... and God is good, really good.

and that's all the love i'd want and ever need.

So Happy 14th of February, loves!

I'll probably blog a lil more later after I finish watching Extreme Makeover on ABC. ^_^

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hmm.. what would I like to add to this post?

Ah yes, I received my first valentine's day tulip this evening. :D

I think it's supposed to be pink... but I think it looks a lil orangey-yellow. (my fav!)

Thank you, Boneheads!

[http://www.eatboneheads.com/]

(which, in my opinion, isnt such an attractive name for a restaurant.... good food though ^_^)

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Since we're on the topic of love... (kinda)

I'd like to share Donald Miller's blog post for today. Click Here to read it.

If you don't recall, Donald Miller wrote "Blue Like Jazz" once upon a time. If you havn't read it yet, do yourself a favor and pick it up the next time you visit a bookstore. It's a good one... one of my favorites, actually. :]

This pretty much sums it up for me:

"Nothing speaks more powerfully than a person who has been set free to do the work he loves. There’s some gospel truth in there somewhere."

Now, aint that true?!?

(yes, I know 'aint' isn't a real word... but i like it ^_^)

Prayer Requests

These are some of my current personal prayer requests...

I figured that I should share some of these requests.

It doesnt hurt to have some more people praying. :]

I believe that God answers prayers and the power of prayer.

So if you would like to join me, please... pray. ^_^

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Mr. Kiyomura

Many of you don't know who this is... but he's the grandfather of one of my good friends, Chris.

All i know is that there was a medical emergency that happened tonight and he and his family needs prayer. Please pray for peace and comfort for their family as they go through this situation.

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Shaunta, Shayla, Bettie & Family / the Navajo Reservation

Bettie and her husband live in Flagstaff and currently are the guardians of Shaunta(12), Shayla(5) and Emillio(4?), some of the Navajo kids that went to our VBS for the past 3 summers. I was Shayla's teacher one year and am currently Shuanta's lil penpal.

Please pray for Bettie's outreach ministry (Somebody Cares!) to the Navajo community in Flagstaff and on the Reservation. They are constantly looking for partners and supporters in their ministry and could use some encouragement as well!

This winter, they've organized a toy/food/clothing drive to bless needy on the Reservation. I recently received a letter from them asking for prayer:

Dear Friends and Loved ones,

We are so grateful for the big big blessing you are to us. We pray the Lord will mightily Bless you for your prayers and support to this ministry. Both Bettie and I have a strong burden to help more hurting children. But in order to do so, we need more partners to help regularly on a monthly basis. We realize how difficult it can be in these hard times, but we know that God WILL NEVER FAIL TO BLESS! Please pray about how you can help. We can't do it without you.

Thank you!

If you would like to help them out financially... let me know. ^_^

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Grace Kim - Missions trip to Thailand

I have never met Grace Kim. She is a photographer who's blog I just decided to follow because I was so inspired by her work. In early January, she blogged about going to Thailand to help fight human trafficking. I don't know what I was thinking or feeling at the time, but as a sister in Christ, I wanted to help her out in some way. I remembered trying to raise money for my trip to Beijing was hectic and a bit stressful.. so why not help out a lil.

She'll be in Thailand from March 9th - March 18th.

This is her blog post and Here are her prayer requests:

-Team: Being of close proximity with a group of very different personalities is always a challenge, so patience, love, and grace to understand and work well together

- Wisdom: Fresh and creative ideas for ways to prevent human trafficking

- Networking: God to bring integral people to collaborate with

- Protection: Good health and strength while traveling overseas so I can be as effective as possible

- Heart: See them through Jesus' eyes - basically WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?)

- Impact: Yes it would be great to help one life, but I want to impact as many girls as possible through this trip

If you would like to provide financial support... This is what she wrote to me about that:

Financial Support:

The total amount that we need to raise individually is $1800. All gifts are tax deductible, checks should be made payable to Overlake Christian Church and can be sent to the address below. IMPORTANT NOTE: “Supporters who wish to deduct their support on their taxes must NOT designate this gift to you anywhere on their check” (so basically, don't write my name anywhere on it).

Grace Kim

19311 24th Ave W Ste D

Lynnwood, WA 98036

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

Whether it is in thought, prayer, or money, thank you so much for giving. Know that you have made a huge impression on my heart and you will be in my thoughts during my time in Thailand. I leave you with this simple quote as I wish you for you the abundance of blessings for your generous heart…

“It is in giving that we receive.” - Saint Francis of Assisi

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Me

I need more courage. or more faith.

Lately, I've been bombarded with some hard to swallow truths. I have an idea what I could do about it... or should do about it but fear more than anything else paralyzes me and stops me from 'going for it.' I've been keeping myself inside the house for quite awhile now.

I guess what I'm asking is for some sort of refreshing of the spirit.... or a refreshing of the Spirit.

Sorry for being quite vague... but that's all i'm saying right now. I've been at a low.. but I'll get back up soon. :]

That's it for now.

Thank you!

Life Pains

So what do you do when you get hurt?

First reaction.... get defensive.

No one wants to hear it, ouch. what the heck.. where is this coming from?

Who are u to be telling me these things?

Just no good. I'm not a fan.

I'm hurting. a lot. and i didnt realize it until fairly recently.

i could pretend im okay. but im not.

though i shouldnt be so SELFISH and just think about myself and my hurts.

there is a world full of hurt out there without food and water and clean clothes.

i've go so much of that, i dont know what to do with it all.

It's time for me to seriously grow up.

Hopefully you can forgive me for my stupidity and selfishness one of these days.

Radical or just the TRUTH?

Francis Chan is not your typical preacher. He has no problem saying something that would be uncomfortable for people hear. And usually, when people say something you don't want to hear or believe, there isn't much listening going on. You'd most likely just try to get through the conversation or Sunday service or whatever setting you're in.. in a polite manner, because we're all just trying to be respectful, right? Okay, maybe you'll pick up on a couple of things here and there but in the long run.. the main points will be missing and you'll forget that this conversation (one way/two-way/ whatever way) even happened.

I'm a horrible listener. Or rather, there are a lot of things that I don't like hearing. These things include doing something that would inconvenience me or make me think about "the world." Things that make me realize over and over how blessed, privileged and spoiled I am. Things that would require me to give up myself and do something that I don't feel like doing.

When it comes to hearing things like that, I don't listen. I could have "spiritual highs" in which I am just so full of the Spirit that I try to do everything I possibly could for God, or so I thought.

I could pretend that I have heard from God and am listening to Him for awhile... and maybe fool a couple people into thinking that I do... but at the end of the day, not much was retained.

I'm not going to lie... hearing that from someone you love really sucks. Being told that I am fake and selfish because of my lack of action and commitment... hurts. But it's the truth, isn't it? I've realized that in a way... I was acting like the Pharasees. All talk, no action. I read inspirational books that would maybe put my mind at ease... and only remember the parts in which sounded good to me: he wants to care for you, he hurts when you hurt... etc. But what about caring for the orphans and widows.... the least of these... and love your enemies? Or just.. "Follow me."

But what about when you fail to listen to him? Does Jesus say... "oh that's okay, don't worry about it.. Just do this when you have time or when it is convenient for you."

Thank you, for teaching me a valuable lesson. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to get it.

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So the following are some notes from Francis Chan's message from December 6, 2009.

"Beware of Good Liars."

Think about this:

"How much of your beliefs are American and how much of your beliefs are Biblical?"

If you took away all your cultural background and religious background (how you grew up), what would your beliefs look like?

Francis suggests that a lot of what we think about the Bible and scripture is influenced by our culture. But this shouldn't be! We can't just blindly believe what others tell us. We need to be able to study scripture for ourselves and really find the truth!

Francis shared about some of his experiences in India... He recalled talking to someone who was persecuted for their beliefs and says this:

"I get emails from orphans in India who get persecuted say that they are praying for me and my church. The truth is that they probably pray for me more than i pray for them and it disgusts me... They're not asking for money.. just for my heart to give it. They want our brothers in America to care about them. "

Honestly, the people who are being persecuted probably DO pray more than I do for anything. Prayer is REAL for them, not just whenever it is convenient. Hearing Francis talk about that was another stab at my heart... when have i ever cared for someone so much that I am constantly praying for them? Our focus on prayer... do we really believe that it will make a difference? Are we praying because we are so desperately focused on God or are we praying because we feel like it's what we should do? I mean, how real are we when we pray?

Some Hard to Swallow Truths:

2 Peter 2:1-10

*We must change our idea of what a false teacher looks like

"secretly creep in unnoticed"

*the road to Hell is marked Heaven

Paul says the road to destruction is wide.. the road to Heaven is narrow

We must think biblically, not by how our culture teaches you or from own experiences and opinions

The Bible says false teachers will secretly bring DESTRUCTIVE heresies that will ultimately lead you to Hell. They will even deny the master who bought them.

2 corinthians 11:13

"For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ."

What does scripture say about Satan?

-He is angel of light... so his servants would also disguise themselves as a servants of righteousness

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Galatians 1:8-9

"But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let that person be under God's curse! As we have already said, so now i say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let that person be under God's curse!"

-Paul is sayin.. "even if i contradict myself and teach u something else... dont believe it! "

we've got to KNOW the gospel...

-Also, I find it's kinda crazy how that statement was repeated. Paul REALLY means what he says. It's so important that we wont just settle for what people tell us.. but to actually study the scripture and to KNOW it for ourselves.

Francis says "Know the Bible for yourself... so you can recall the truth."

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1 Corinithans 6:20

"You were BOUGHT with a price therefore glorify God with your bodies."

This is not your own body. Jesus purchased you and now he owns you.

If our [sensual] desires go a certain direction... our theology follows. "In their greed, they will exploit you with false words" This shouldn't be so!

Are you pursuing truth or are you just defending what you want to do?

Alright. That got me. Buddy, you know you're right and I know you're right. I havn't been pursuing God's will for me because frankly, I'm not sure I WANT to hear from Him.

It would actually require me to do something about it... and i'm scared. For a whole bunch of other reasons and excuses... I just havn't done anything about my calling.

So i think for now... maybe I'll just have to obey.. and not think about it too much. Otherwise, I get in the way of myself.

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{Here's the biggest lie that has crept in all across America:

A loving God would not send people to Hell.}

2 Peter 2:4-6

"For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgement...''

2 Peter 2:7 "... and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the depraved conduct of the lawless (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard)-- if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trails and to hold the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgement."

err... okay, THAT has got to make you think. It made ME think... why am I not constantly sharing Christ's love with others? Why am I still living like this... shut up in my own home and complaining about my laziness and not doing much about it? O dear, i could go on.

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Where Francis Chan Stands:

"I believe God CAN and WILL judge. I believe God Almighty has the right to punish as severely as he desires. That's his right as God.

I believe in an eternal place of punishment just as Jesus described in scripture repeatedly that it's an eternal place of punishment in Hell. I believe that anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong. I believe that i am right about this and that you would be wrong about that because I do believe in truth and i do believe in error.

I recognize that this is not the popular stance in the world and i don't care because I look at history and i go 'this is what God has done.' And i believe that there are angels in Hell right now that dared to rebel against God's authority and that's why the are chained up in that darkness.

I believe that there are people headed in that same place because they cared more about their own lust and desires and fulfillment of that than to subject themselves to a Holy God.

As i say that, there is a tremendous sadness in my heart, and i want to be bold to say that because i know there are false teachers who will tell you otherwise.

God knows how to punish and He knows how to rescue. I have to trust that God gave Lot the power to stand so that he knows how to rescue and that he gave Noah the power to stand when no one on earth would listen to him. "

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So after all of this... and living in this 'fantasy life' of mine... what do i do next?

I guess I'll find out soon enough.